Changing Attitudes

Some prices are just too high, no matter how much you may want the prize. The only thing you can't trade for your heart's desire is your heart.

~Lois McMaster Bujold

Changing Attitudes

Introduction

Shadows danced on my bedroom wall, visitors courtesy of the street light and one of large maples that played sentry in the front yard.

The toilet flushed and the sound of the shower starting emerged from the bathroom and I debated joining him. Instead, still embraced by a glorious, post-orgasmic bliss, I hugged my nakedness and snuggled beneath the down comforter and relished the sensation of being completely, utterly sated.

Again.

I floated somewhere between this world and the next. My entire being felt cradled in a warm cloud. I searched myself for signs of guilt or shame. I found none. I found only an ecstatic euphoria. Regret would indicate I was somehow sorry for the choice I made in calling him again, but I wasn't sorry at all.

In fact, I couldn't wait for him to finish showering and come back to bed.

As I waited for my lover, my thoughts turned back to my husband's proposal and events that led up to my first night with my paramour.



It was his fantasy. I had been perfectly happy with our love life – I would have been perfectly content to go to my grave having known only my husband – but once Rick confessed his desire to see me with a young, well-built stud, in a small way it became my fantasy, too.

But that is all it was for me – a fantasy. Oh, I played along with Rick when we'd role play. He'd use a very large vibrator on me, pretending I was being mounted by a stallion from some bar or dance club. And I must confess it was always hot to pretend with him.

Playing in the dark. Rick disguising his voice. Me telling him that I was married. Rick tearing my clothes off and pushing me almost violently down onto the bed. The stranger behind me demanding I tell him how much better he was than my husband as he entered my womanhood.

The first time we played out the scene I had come so hard I almost fainted. Rick ejaculated without even putting his penis inside me.

That would have been around August of 1999. Just about the time that our daughter Jessica Lynn had left the nest to attend school in Arizona. Our youngest, Steven, was around 15 at the time. I'm grateful that he had been spending the night at a friend's because the amount of noise I made that night would have woken the dead.

From that point forward, Rick would play the role of a stranger at least once a week.

Nearly every time, afterward, Rick would press me to see if I really wanted to do it with a stranger. My answer was invariably, "No."

Chapter 1

There were many things I didn't understand, back then. I didn't understand Rick's driven need to xxx me with another. I didn't understand my visceral reaction to the idea. Perhaps if I hadn't married the first man I dated out of high school. Maybe, if Rick hadn't been so insecure – after all, I knew his penis was at least average at 6?" and, not that I'd seen many, but it seemed fat to me.

Maybe I should have shut him down the first time he voiced the fantasy.

I graduated high school in 1978 in a small town about 30 miles north of Columbus, Ohio. I met Richard Lambert a month later and, after a year-long courtship, we were married the following summer.

The rabbit died that winter, and nine months later, in July of 1980, Kathleen and Kayleen were born. The twins hadn't yet learned to walk when Rick and I became a little on the 'pregger' side again. Like clockwork, nine months later, in June of '81, Jessica joined her sisters.

Rick and I had mutually agreed that three was the number. Although after Jessica, I could see a bit of disappointment in his eyes that he wouldn't have a son.

For the next few years we lived relatively happily in a small ranch style home outside of Dayton, where Rick had a small law practice. There were ups and downs, to be sure, but we were able to overcome the difficulties with good humor and love.

Rick, the three girls, and I, were as in love as a family could possibly be. We wanted for nothing and just took joy in each others happiness. And then our daughters' – and Rick's – joy was increased exponentially when the stork deposited a baby brother they could dote on. A living, breathing baby doll, so to speak.

I had been religious about using birth control, so the only thing I could think was that a particularly vigorous sperm had slipped past my diaphragm, or I had forgotten to put it in and had since forgot I had forgotten it.

Regardless, abortion wasn't an option, so in November, 1985, Steven Paul joined us and five became six.

Life went on as it has a tendency to do, and, generally speaking, it went well. There were car pools and scraped knees and school recitals. There were little league and volleyball tournaments. Trick-or-treating. Christmases and Independence Days. Chicken Pox and an occasional cold or flu. There were tears, of course, but they were easily offset by joys.

By the early 90s, Rick's practice had taken off and we were able to afford a larger house in a better neighborhood. The kids' objections were short lived when they saw the pool and the huge yard and a public park just down the road.

The twins graduated high school in 1998 and left home for the beaches of California that summer. Jessica was valedictorian the following year and was accepted at the University of Arizona.

It was about that time that Rick confessed his fantasy to xxx me having sex with another man.



Of course, being a good Catholic girl from the mid-west, the very idea was ludicrous. We just didn't do that sort of thing. But Lord, the idea was hot and my reaction that night in bed encouraged Rick to keep trying.

"We can go to Cleveland or even Pittsburgh, Babe. We can go anywhere you want. Somewhere no one knows us."

"No."

"Just imagine what it'd be like. You with a young, muscular stud. A college football player, maybe. Handsome and hung like a bull."

"It sounds hot, but it isn't going to happen."

"Picture him ripping off your clothes...throwing you down onto the bed...chewing on your fat nipples and fingering your cunt until you can't stand it anymore...then rolling you over and mounting you from behind...his rock hard cock pushing into you...you are so wet. Picture him slamming himself into you so hard your whole body jiggles and quivers with each thrust...you are crying with orgasmic joy...telling him how good his cock feels in your pussy...and as he climaxes and slams into you before erupting what seems like gallons of hot come deep inside you, you raise your eyes to mine where I'm sitting by the side of the bed."

"Do I get to suck his huge cock before he fucks me?"

"Before and after, if you want. You are free to do and try anything."

"Like I said, my sick and perverted hubby, it sounds hot, but it ain't going to happen."



That's how it went for several years. Rick pushing and prodding me to take a lover, and me resisting, although I have to admit my resistance weakened over time. After Steven graduated high school and won an athletic scholarship to Ohio State and left us in an empty nest, Rick became even more insistent.

I still managed to refuse him, but I began to wonder if I wasn't going to give in, if for no other reason than to just shut him up for once and for all.

The direction of Rick's fantasy abruptly changed in December of 2003. All the kids were home on Christmas break. It had been truly wonderful to have the family together again and the house rang with laughter and warm good cheer.

A few days before Christmas, Rick and I were getting ready for bed. Rick was agitated and seemed flustered about something. There was an odd light in his eye and he was flushed. But he didn't say anything.

I wasn't to find out what was going through his mind until well after the kids had gone back to school a few weeks later in January. After they left, Rick's libido kicked into hyper-drive and our sex had never been more intense. But he had stopped pushing me to let him xxx me with another man.

It was after a particularly satisfying roll in the sheets that he finally told me what was on his mind and what he had seen.

We were spooned together, with my back to his front. Our sweaty bodies still tingling. Rick was cradling one of my boobs, lightly teasing my nipple.

"You were amazing tonight, honey." I whispered.

"Thanks, you too." He replied, bussing the side of my neck.

"Is something bothering you?" I asked, relishing the sensation of his lips on my skin.

"What do you mean?" I could tell by the tone of his voice there really was something bothering him.

I groaned when he rolled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. "I mean you haven't been bugging me to find a young lover. We're not role playing anymore. While it still isn't going to happen, it is fun to fantasize about it with you."

"Promise not to be angry if I tell you?" He rose up on his elbow and looked down at me.

I gazed into his eyes but couldn't see anything. "As long as you're honest with me, you can tell me anything. You still fantasize about seeing me being laid by some young stud, don't you?"

He grinned broadly and I could see an excited light burning in his eye. "Oh yeah. But the young stud I want to see you with isn't a nameless, faceless stranger."

Rolling onto my back, I pushed away from him slightly. "Whatever are you talking about?"

Rick leaned back and looked up at the ceiling and appeared to be struggling with himself. "It's Steve."

His voice was so low I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. "What?"

Fear replaced the excitement in his eye. "I've been fantasizing about watching you with Steve."

"What" I exclaimed, probably louder than I'd intended. "Our Steven? Are you in-fucking-sane?"

I brushed his hand from my tit and scrambled out of bed. I grabbed my robe and threw it on before turning to face him again.

Rick was still lying on his side, his head propped up by his right arm. To his credit, he didn't say anything. For the first time, I saw him doubting himself.

"You mean to tell me you've been fantasizing about watching me having sex with my own son? My own flesh and blood? Jesus, Rick, when is enough, enough?"

He didn't answer. He patiently waited. He knew me so well.

To be honest, I wasn't as livid as I thought I should be. And that scared me into a pretense of anger. I stormed out of the room and stamped down to the kitchen to make a pot of tea. I rattled pots and slammed cupboard doors to send the sound of my faux anger up to him.

What the hell was wrong with me? My husband had just suggested he would like to see me fucking our son, and good old righteous anger had called in sick. I should have been livid. I should have felt a justified rage. I should have felt just about anything but the slowly growing warmth in my belly.

In our previous role playing, the young men we fantasized about were approximately Steven's age. And had roughly his build – lean and hard with muscles on muscles. They were handsome, like Steven, too. But they weren't my blood.

I sat at the table and dwelt on Rick's latest fantasy. I grew hotter and hotter as I thought about it. Steven was a hottie – to use my daughters' word – of that there was no question. He was tall and dark and devilishly handsome. Rick and I had both been lookers, once, and Steven had been blessed with the best of what we had to offer.

He was intelligent and funny and original. Like his father had been, Steven was athletic and a stunningly good looking young man. Some of my girlfriends had opined that Steven resembled Matthew McConaughey. I agreed with them, but privately snorted to myself that Steven made Matthew seem plain by comparison.

No, from a physical perspective, there was nothing wrong with our youngest.

I had half-expected Rick to follow me to the kitchen, but he didn't show. He was waiting me out. I finished my tea and slowly climbed the staircase, appalled that instead of being indignant at Rick's fantasy I was actually excited and my body was betraying me.



Rick was still lying in bed when I entered the room. He just looked at me without speaking, waiting for me to begin.

"Honey," I whispered, "That was quite a shock you gave me."

He only nodded.

"What would possess you to...to think such a thing?" I moved to the far side of the bed and crossed my arms under my breasts.

For a long time, Rick didn't respond. Over the course of 24 years I knew that I couldn't pull out his answer. He was thoughtful and methodical – he would answer when he was ready, not before.

He rolled onto his side and smiled sheepishly up at me. "You know I've always dreamed of seeing you with a well-hung man, somebody younger than me, someone who could please you in ways that I can't?"

I nodded, "Of course. Playing out the fantasy with you has been fun for me, also, but you know I've never complained about the way you perform in bed."

"I know, but you've only been with me and how do you know how it would be with somebody else?" Rick was gaining his confidence.

"Oh, honey..." I started before Rick cut me off.

"I love you, babe." He asserted, "I always will. I don't know where my fantasies come from but they are as real to me as anything else and nothing I do helps to get rid of them. Anyway, a few weeks ago, right before Christmas, Steve and I went cross country skiing. We took a sauna together afterward. That's when I saw it."

I wrinkled my forehead. "Saw what?"

"Steven's dick." Rick was agitated again. "Good Lord, Mary, our son is hung like a freaking bull. I'm average at best, but Steve makes me look like a prepubescent boy."

I was shocked at my body's reaction. I couldn't speak. I could feel my knees going weak and the flame in my belly blossomed into an inferno as my husband described our son's penis.

"Even soft, he hung almost halfway to his knee and he was almost as thick as his wrist. I'd never seen anything like it, babe. He is huge."

"Oh my..." I managed.

"Anyway, that's what started it." Rick continued, extremely animated. "That night I pictured you in bed with Steve, his enormous cock in your pussy, his mouth nursing at your tits again. It was so fucking hot I almost blew my load just thinking about it."

I could feel my vagina drooling. My entire body was on fire. "Ooohhhh..." I moaned softly.

"I couldn't get it out of my head," My husband confessed, "And nothing had ever made me hotter. The thought of you having sex with Steve was soooo fucking hot it short-circuited everything else."

"But honey..." I stammered.

Rick looked deep into my eyes and knew I was as excited as he was about the idea.

"Think about it, babe." He breathed, his nostrils flared, "It could be everything we fantasized about with none of the risk. I wouldn't have to worry about you with a stranger, STDs, violence...it could be everything we want, with none of the negatives,"

I didn't bother to point out it was what Rick wanted, not me. It was his fantasy, not mine. But I knew, at that moment, when Rick described Steven's penis in graphic detail, I did want Steven.

How I was to have him was problematic at that point.



I eased into bed next to Rick, pulling the comforter up to my waist. I still wore my robe and clenched it tight around my neck with my right hand. I didn't pull away when he reached out and cupped my chin with his fingers and turned my face to his. The fire burning in his eyes was something I hadn't seen in years.

"It's an answer to our prayers, babe." He said softly.

Again, I didn't bother to tell him I hadn't been praying for another lover.

But I couldn't get the thought of Steven's large penis out of my head, either.

"Do you really think I'd...actually agree to even...pretend having sex with Steven?" I whistled through clenched teeth.

If Rick had dipped his fingers into my drenched vagina at that moment he'd have all the answer he needed. My body was so aroused at the thought, I couldn't think straight. And at that moment I knew that it wasn't just the thought of being fucked by a big cock that turned me on so, it was the thought of being mounted by my own son.

It was the thought of incest – of fucking my blood – that was stoking my fires. I didn't bother considering how sick that made me seem at that point.

Rick rolled onto his side and looked down at me. If the erection that poked at my hip was any indication, he was at least as excited as I was.

It was surprising how easily I eased into Rick's delirium. I smiled up at him through trembling lips and cooed, "Does baby want to suck on mommy's nipples?"

"Oh yeah." Rick panted, "Baby wants to nurse on mommy's tits. Baby is hungry."

I peeled the covers down my torso and only moaned when my husband parted my robe, exposing my quivering, softball-sized breasts. He grunted and actually seemed to be salivating for a moment before attacking my aching nipple.

"That's it, baby," I cooed, enraptured by the thought of my handsome son suckling on my long, thick nipples again, "Suck on them. Baby's mouth feels so nice on mommy's breast...soooo nice."

My entire body was on fire. Liquid napalm seemed to be coursing through my veins. I was quaking uncontrollably as I sank into the role play. In my mind it was Steven who was mauling my pillowy tits and chewing and sucking at my nipples.

Rick was in his role, too. Usually he had finesse and a delicate touch when we played, but as he pretended to be his youngest son, he was clumsy and inexperienced. Slobbering, panting hungrily, he mouthed my tit flesh as if it were his first time.

"Oh mom..." He moaned as he alternated from one tit to the other, "I can't believe you're letting me suck on your tits. I love it. I've wanted to do this for so long."

My body surged. I laced my fingers through his hair and gently guided him. "You're making me feel so good, Steven."

Rick/Steve raised his eyes to mine. They were positively blazing. "What if dad catches us, mom? He'll kill us both."

I smiled down at him and purred, "Don't worry about your father. He won't be home for hours." I eased his mouth back to an aching breast and sighed as he sucked my nipple back into his mouth and coiled his tongue around it. "Steven," I panted, "You can touch and...kiss me anywhere you like. You're n...not restricted to my boobs, you know."

Taking my suggestion to heart, I felt my son's hand slide over the butter softness of my belly and nervously cover my pubic mound. I was so hot and wet he had to have felt the heat from my pussy.

When he slipped one finger, then a second, between my swollen labia and slid them into me to the second knuckle, my body arched involuntarily and a baby orgasm crashed through me.

"Ooohhhh my God..." I grunted as explosions detonated inside me.

I went wild. I lost complete control of my senses. I gripped his hair in my fist and pulled his head up. Defiantly, I glared at him and there was no questioning my order.

"Put it in me, Steven." I demanded.

He shuddered a bit but eagerly climbed between my legs and waited as I splayed myself for him. "I've wanted to fuck you for so long, mom."

He lowered himself over me and allowed me to blindly find his erection. I reached between my legs and parted my labia with one hand and guided his swollen helmet to my entrance with the other. He leaned his weight forward and downward and we both grunted as he eased himself into my boiling cauldron.


"Oooohhhhhh yesssssss...." We both hissed as his rigid cock pierced my delicate tissues and he sank into my depths.

Buried to the hilt in my cunt, he paused a moment, his eyes locked with mine. "God, mom, your pussy feels so tight...so hot..."

I smiled weakly up at him, "Your cock feels so good inside me, my beautiful son. You're so big and hard."

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this, mom." He whimpered when I began to flex my vaginal muscles against him. "For years I've been so jealous of dad."

"Don't talk about your father," I nuzzled his throat, "You're so much bigger than him. Your cock feels enormous in my pussy. I love the feeling of your big hairy balls tickling my ass."

"I'm bigger than dad?" He asked excitedly.

"Oh my, yes." I slid my hands down his torso and gripped his ass, pulling him into me. "You make your father seem like a little boy. You're all man, Steven. I'm sorry I waited so long for this. We should have been fucking for years."

Steve/Rick rose up on his elbows and eased back with his legs, his erection sliding almost sliding completely out of me. He paused for a brief second and then began violently plowing himself into me over and over, as if it were his first time.

"OOOOHHHHH MY GOD" I screamed, overwhelmed by the very idea I was having sex with my baby. "IT FEELS SO GOOD, HONEY DON'T STOP, BABY FUCK ME STEVEN FFFFFFUCK ME"

His eyes were blazing with a fire I had never seen before and he cried out loudly as we coupled, "OH CHRIST, MOM YOUR PUSSY FEELS SO FUCKING HOT I LOVE FUCKING YOU, MOM I'VE WANTED THIS FOR SO LONG"

Wildly we thrust our groins together, unable to control ourselves. I was pushing my hips up to receive each frenetic downward drive of his hips. At that point, it was Steven who was fucking me so well. My body was raging like never before. Panting, gasping for oxygen, we were both overly excited and I sensed, moments before he erupted, that Rick was close.

"FUCK ME STEVEN FUCK ME HARDER" I bellowed, oblivious to everything but his rigid cock spearing me. "OH CHRIST YOUR WONDERFUL COCK FEELS SO GOOD IN MY PUSSY YOU'RE SO FUCKING BIG AND HARD YOU MAKE YOUR DAD'S DICK SEEM SO SMALL SHOW HIM HOW A REAL MAN FUCKS HIS WOMAN"

He lost it, then. The obscenities that poured out of my mouth were enough to push him over the edge,

He slammed into me a few more times and froze, arching his back and screamed, "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH MMMOMMMM I'MMMMMMM COMMMMMMMING"

The sensation of Steven/Rick swelling inside me and his warm semen pouring into me was more than I could take. I came hard at the thought my son's come filling my womb.

It ran over me like a tsunami. Sirens and explosions detonated in my head and pure electricity coursed through every nerve ending in my body. My own body arched with the intensity of its release and I couldn't hold back a scream of primal pleasure.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH FFFFFUCK" I yelled joyously as I rode the waves of orgasmic bliss.

Over and over my body jerked and shuddered beneath Steven/Rick. Lightning bolts burst in my appendages and napalm scorched my veins. Never had I known such orgasmic joy. My climax was more powerful than any I'd ever experienced in my life.

Moaning, panting, gasping for breath, Rick and I floated back onto the bed, still embraced by warm sexual pleasure. For many minutes we didn't speak. We just held each other and relished the warm afterglow, nuzzling and caressing each other.

Like a night mist, the aureate cloud around my marital bed faded. Rick lifted his head and smiled down at me as his flaccid penis slipped from my well used vagina.

"Oh. My. God" I whispered, our mingled fluids draining from my center. "That was so f...fucking hot, honey."

"Babe," He responded, "I can't wrap my head around how hot...how exciting it was to think of you with Steve."

"Mmmmm..." I smiled sheepishly up at him, "I'm pretty sure it makes me a sick pervert but it was easily the most exciting thing I have ever experienced in my entire life."

Rick collapsed on the bed next to me and grinned, "What does it make me to want to xxx you with him?"

Chapter 2

From that night forward, our sex life changed radically. We had always been sexual and the frequency of our couplings had probably been well above the norm for an old married couple. Three or four times a week – sometimes more. After that first night of faked incest, we were insatiable.

Rick and I were fucking every single night. Rather, I should say Steven and I were fucking every single night. It was unbelievable how excited I became with Rick telling me how much he wanted to fuck his mommy and sliding his erection into my drooling pussy.

We invented a variety of scenarios that drove me wild. Steven stealthily joining me in the shower, bending me over and easing into me while we pretended his father was just downstairs watching television. Rick sleeping in Steven's room and me sneaking down the darkened hallway to join him while his father and sisters slept nearby. Giving Steven a quick blow job in the garage or at the breakfast table.

I don't know why my reaction to the thought of incest was so powerful. Frankly, I didn't care why. All I knew is that it was more exciting than anything I'd ever fantasized about. I do know that it wasn't just that Steven had a big penis. Hell, Rick had a penis that was big enough for me. I quickly came to believe it was the thought of having my own flesh and blood that was so hot.

Rick and I hadn't coupled as 'Rick and Kelly' after that first night. It was always 'Steven and Kelly' that gave the mattress or couch or back seat of Rick's car a xxx. It was Steven who took my ass cherry – something I never let Rick do.

For his part, Rick genuinely didn't seem to mind that he no longer figured in my fantasies. He had become a tool for my obsession. Thanks to him, I had devolved into a hungry cock slut who craved her son.

Rick took things a step further by going out and buying a few blue books that were centered around mother – son sex. I devoured them all, over and over. Pushing the envelope, my loving hubby surprised me on my birthday with a video that blew my socks off – and panties too, I supposed. 'Taboo' became our favorite nighttime entertainment.

One night we actually re-enacted word for word all the scenes between the mother and son.

If a body squinted just a bit and the light wasn't too bright, I did look a little like Kay Parker, the actress who played the mother in the movie. My figure closely approximated hers, with heavy, pendulous breasts that sagged just a bit, but were still mostly up thrust and proud. My hips were not too terribly wide and my butt was still surprisingly taut and still held a youthful shape. I was proud that I was still able to wear jeans I had worn in high school. Granted, I couldn't breathe when I was wearing them and I had a significant muffin top, but I could still get them zipped up.

To be continued...